Tis the season for gifting! Here comes the chaos. Well meaning friends and family members are always excited to buy our children gifts. Which frankly causes me MAJOR anxiety. Raise your hand if you've ever thought to yourself on December 26, "There is so much SHIT everywhere!". A few of those gifts get played with for a while. Then, they end up in the donate pile or worse....they take up valuable real estate inside of your home. I am intentional about the kid's items I keep in our home because the truth is, kids play with a few favorite things and the rest just contribute the mess. Do you need more stress in your life? I didn't think so.
MESS = STRESS!
Don't just take my word for it. It's Science! According to Dr. Sherrie Bourge Carter from Psychology Today* says that clutter causes stress in a number of ways:
Clutter bombards our minds with excessive stimuli (visual, olfactory, tactile), causing our senses to work overtime on stimuli that aren't necessary or important.
Clutter distracts us by drawing our attention away from what our focus should be on.
Clutter makes it more difficult to relax, both physically and mentally.
Clutter constantly signals to our brains that our work is never done.
Clutter makes us anxious because we're never sure what it's going to take to get through to the bottom of the pile.
Clutter creates feelings of guilt ("I should be more organized") and embarrassment, especially when others unexpectedly drop by our homes or work spaces.
Clutter inhibits creativity and productivity by invading the open spaces that allow most people to think, brainstorm, and problem solve.
Clutter frustrates us by preventing us from locating what we need quickly (e.g. files and paperwork lost in the "pile" or keys swallowed up by the clutter).
What if I told you there was a kind and easy way to PREVENT this from happening? I believe that there is. It might cause you to feel a little bit uncomfortable--but would you rather feel uncomfortable for a little bit now, or uncomfortable in your home for the next 6-9 months or longer? Your friends and family love you and your children and they will be okay with you telling them what I am about to suggest. No one wants to waste their money anyway.
So here's what you say....feel free to copy and paste if you'd like! Or take it and tweak it to make it your own.
Hi! Happy Fall! With the Holidays approaching I wanted to communicate something will you that weighs heavy on my heart during this time. I am so incredibly grateful for the way you love me and my kids. We are so lucky to have wonderful family/friends who care so deeply for us. That's why I feel its important to share these feelings with you. The inflection of gifts at the holidays becomes a huge stress for the kids and I. The truth is, the kids think they want a million gifts, but they only need a few. I want them to appreciate the spirit of the season, versus the commercialism of it. So in order to alleviate our post-christmas nervous breakdown (due to the "stuff" that now needs a home in our home), I'd like to humbly ask you to forego buying the kids gifts this year. I know how good it feels for us to give them gifts and see their excited little faces. But stay strong for me! If you really feel like you HAVE to buy something for the kids, consider an experience type of gift like tickets to a zoo or movie theater. Or better yet, give us the gift of your time and company by coming over to bake cookies or watch a holiday movie. Our relationship with you is what matters most.
See?! That isn't so bad is it? Everyone wins when you are honest and communicate openly about what you want and need from people. If friends and family get their feelings hurt by a heartfelt request to make your life (and theirs too, frankly) easier, that is their problem. Not yours, friend. Set your boundaries un-apologetically.
Comment below and let me know how it goes! I'm rooting for you.
*https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/high-octane-women/201203/why-mess-causes-stress-8-reasons-8-remedies